Ok, here I go–I have been wrestling for some time now about what I want to be when I grow up.  I realize that this internal dialogue has more to do with my life work, vocation, and generally how to support myself.  Overall, I’m very satisfied with who I am as a person.  No, that doesn’t mean that I don’t continue to push myself or rather challenge myself to be the best “me” possible.  I think that if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s a continual process.  But let’s just say, 99% of the time, I like me!

How I bring “me” to the work a day world is the issue and has been, in all honesty for some time now.  For much of the time, I am able to go with the flow, draw from the Universe and read the signs that are posted for me along the way.  But, the heart of my angst is really those times when I lecture myself about how can I be 57 years old and not really know how to bring my gifts/talents forth to the world??!!

I have begun to see though that much of my inner torment is produced by me trying to fit into the accepted model of work as we know it today.  I have never really ever been someone who fit into the “average” or “norms” of society.  So, why would I try to fit myself into that hole now?  And I don’t say that in a “rebellious” kind of way.  It’s just the way it is.  I see things differently, as the quote goes, and ask why.

So, in order for me to be authentic, I want to even write my resume differently–I want it to be a narrative of who I am, what I have done and what I want to do.  I see now in this process of continuing discovery that I’ve gotten very clear on what my values are–I don’t want to go work for the Target’s of the world.  Ok, I never have wanted to do that but I’ve always been told that those kinds of organizations need people like me but I’m not willing to do that anymore.

While right now I can’t tell you exactly what I want to do–I can tell you that it will be a place that nurtures and feeds the soul–my soul.  More to come in the days and weeks ahead!  Until then, what makes your heart sing?

2.  Let a person with only a few items go ahead of you in the grocery line.

3.  Give your spouse, partner, child or friend an extra hug.

4.  Smile at everyone you see.

5.  Be a buddy to a new coworker.

6.  Pick up trash when you’re walking.

7.  Offer to return the grocery cart for an elderly person.

8.  Write a thank you note to someone who influenced you.

9.  When someone tries to merge in your traffic lane, let them in.

10.  Leave a treat or a note of thanks for your mail, newspaper or delivery person.

(adapted from Woman’s Day, 2.11.09)

Enjoy!!!

(Artist unknown)

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

Native American Indian Legends

Maybe you don’t really love your life that much right now but by shifting your thoughts, you may find one day that you really do love your life.  By affirming that you love your life, you begin to see your life in different ways.  You allow possibility to inhabit your thoughts. It’s a continuation of seeing the glass half full or half empty.

I discovered the following website one day and they have a really fun tool that you can access on a daily basis or more frequently, if you desire.   There is a deck of affirmation cards and you click on one card and it brings up an affirmation along with a lovely image.  I believe that synchronicity works in bringing you the exact card that you need. http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/pool/affirmation-cards.htm

Here’s the card that I drew for you today:

Being Appreciated

right now in this moment on your path?

What is it that you wish to create now?

What is your next step

that is unlike anybody else’s?

If you carefully delineate your

self-judgments about this longing

that come from your fear

of speaking your truth

about where you must go next,

you will clear your way.

It is not a mystery.  It is simple.

It takes only one step

to go through the doorway.

You do not need to be finished

the moment you enter.

Each person walks one step at a time.

(From Barbara Brennan’s Seeds of the Spirit)