22. August 2010 by Laurie.

Ok, here I go–I have been wrestling for some time now about what I want to be when I grow up.  I realize that this internal dialogue has more to do with my life work, vocation, and generally how to support myself.  Overall, I’m very satisfied with who I am as a person.  No, that doesn’t mean that I don’t continue to push myself or rather challenge myself to be the best “me” possible.  I think that if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s a continual process.  But let’s just say, 99% of the time, I like me!

How I bring “me” to the work a day world is the issue and has been, in all honesty for some time now.  For much of the time, I am able to go with the flow, draw from the Universe and read the signs that are posted for me along the way.  But, the heart of my angst is really those times when I lecture myself about how can I be 57 years old and not really know how to bring my gifts/talents forth to the world??!!

I have begun to see though that much of my inner torment is produced by me trying to fit into the accepted model of work as we know it today.  I have never really ever been someone who fit into the “average” or “norms” of society.  So, why would I try to fit myself into that hole now?  And I don’t say that in a “rebellious” kind of way.  It’s just the way it is.  I see things differently, as the quote goes, and ask why.

So, in order for me to be authentic, I want to even write my resume differently–I want it to be a narrative of who I am, what I have done and what I want to do.  I see now in this process of continuing discovery that I’ve gotten very clear on what my values are–I don’t want to go work for the Target’s of the world.  Ok, I never have wanted to do that but I’ve always been told that those kinds of organizations need people like me but I’m not willing to do that anymore.

While right now I can’t tell you exactly what I want to do–I can tell you that it will be a place that nurtures and feeds the soul–my soul.  More to come in the days and weeks ahead!  Until then, what makes your heart sing?

Posted in Career, Life's Work, Vocation, Authentic, Universe, Creative, Love, Longing, Choices, Soul | Print | 1 Comment »

10. February 2010 by Laurie.

The following Native American legend was shared with me today by another Soul Coach.  I think it so aptly describes that inner struggle that we each face often many times a day.  But it truly is about the choices we make moment by moment and day by day.  May we each choose that which elevates ourselves and others!  –LL

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

Native American Indian Legends

Posted in Native American, Wolves Within, Choices | Print | 1 Comment »